Today’s New Years Resolution is “Quit Drinking”.

It’s a fine resolution:


According to MADD; “in 2005, 16,885 people were killed in alcohol-related crashes – an average of one almost every half-hour.(In the U.S., According to data from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration)”

And according to MADD.ca; “On average just under 4 Canadians are killed every day and just under 190 Canadians are injured each day.(from impaired driving)”

I often drink to excess. In fact, like alot of people, I very recently drank to excess.


But the closest I’ve ever come to drinking and driving is skateboarding drunk.

I think that anyone who is considering driving while drunk should first spend an hour on a skateboard- Especially if they’ve never skateboarded before.

Hah, I just remembered- Don’t judge me too harshly, But about 4 years ago, while I was tipsy, I thought it would be a excellent idea to pick up my girlfriend and skateboard around with her in my arms. I informed her of my grand schemes by picking her up and skating off. For a few minutes everything was as magnificent as I had imagined it would be untill a hard piece of gum ran under my left wheel. The board stopped, and I felt a panic I’ve only felt a few times in my life.


You see, I’ve been thrown from my board many times before- I knew how much it could hurt, and I’ve been thrown while I was carrying less important things than my girlfriend, like a borrowed, expensive video camera- and I remember how the camera ended up.

The way I was holding her- I could see the arc she would take and I had visions of smashing her head on the ground.

Somehow I managed to reach up, cradle her head, and roll with the fall in such a way that I took all the impact and she wasn’t hurt at all! She wasn’t even pissed off at me!

This all occurred directly in front of her horrified friends, who, naturally, must of concluded that I was a god-damned moron.

Sometimes when you do something really stupid, you can’t say: “Well, I’m not the sort of person to recklessly put other people- especially the people I love- in danger.” You have to be judged by your one-offs.
Obviously, I never tried to do it again.

My point is you can make some bad choices when drunk. Don’t amplify the consequences by getting behind a big ol’ motor

p.s. To my Ex, If you read this, I’m sorry I tried to carry you around on my skateboard while intoxicated.