Yes yes yes.

This is just the start, and I’m saving the best for last.

For anyone not familiar with the Toronto Subway System, It has several of these hooks in most cars for the display and distribution of information flyers. Although they’re usually empty, these hooks have seen a lot of recent use. My personal favourite? The self-parodying Escalator Safety Guide.

It comes complete with a list of escalator myths, useful to those whose sole experience with escalators comes from cartoons:

“Myth: Riders do not have to be cautious on escalators.

Truth: Escalators are six-ton moving machines. Pay the
same attention to an escalator as you would to a moving bus.
Riders should keep away from both sides and hold handrails.
Loose clothes, untied or long shoelaces, high heels, long hair,
long jewellery, etc., can get caught in an escalator.

Myth: The steps will flatten out and all the people
will slide down.

Truth: This is impossible. Each step is a full triangular
structure consisting of tread and riser supported on a track
and cannot flatten out.

Myth: Escalators move too fast.

Truth: Escalators move at only two times normal walking
speeds. The misconception is probably due to the visual
perception.

Myth: Escalators will stop and restart themselves.

Truth: Escalators only stop if the STOP button is pushed,
the safety switch is tripped or an obstruction is encountered.
Escalators can only be restarted by a trained professional.

Myth: If an escalator is not in motion, it is just a set
of stairs.

Truth: Not at all! Escalator steps are not the correct
height for normal walking and should not be used in that
manner. The risk of tripping and falling is greatly increased.”

Sometimes I really hate our modern legal-paralyzed, life-sterilized world. Bah! Take lots of risks today kids! Sometimes the escalators of the world aren’t running and standing around will get you nowhere. Sometimes they’re just moving too slowly! Sometimes you need to run up the down escalators. Sometimes you need to trip in order to get where you’re going.

Anyway. Get ready for a week full of parody TTC flyer updates!

Please feel free to print/distribute your own copies of any of these flyers.

Print Resolution files here and here.